Local Appetites

by Adam Stumacher

I. Potosi, Bolivia

Hold on, listen. This is definitely the tour for you. When you go back home, you can tell your girlfriend you exploded a stick of dynamite and wriggled through a mineshaft. And how many people can say they've seen the inside of Cerro Rico, the richest mountain in the history of the world? There it is, across the Plaza de Armas. You see that strange cone up in the sky? They say enough silver ore was taken from that one hill to build a bridge, one meter wide, from my country all the way back to Spain. They also say you could build a bridge next to it with the bones of the mitayos who died working there. The envy of kings, they used to call it. But for today only, my friend, you can get inside for just twenty-five US dollars, transportation and lunch included.

Now let me be honest, my friend: the trip is not an easy one. But I can see you are a strong man, so it should be no problem for you. Yes, you will be up before the sun. And believe me, at four thousand meters the air is so cold it makes your lips bleed. Yes, the guesthouse shower will be lukewarm if you're lucky, and you'll have no breakfast, because not even the old women selling saltenas will be out on the street so early. But it's all part of the adventure, my friend. So go ahead, suffer a little. It helps you imagine what the miners do every morning. Also, a little pain now makes for better stories when you get back home, no? And where is home for you? Australia? Germany? America? Good. A good country. For American friends, the special today is twenty dollars.

You can trust me. I used to work down in the mines myself. Not silver, of course, those veins dried up many hundred years ago. The money is in tin now. But not for the miners. For the mining company, I mean. No, don't worry. This tour won't be too political.

I grew up in the village of Pulacayo, that way over the mountains. It was not an easy life, living in the company shack and eating stewed mote every night. Still my father always found the money for notebooks and pencils so I could do my English homework. Pretty good results, no? Of course, there was one time when he tried to get me to quit school, to take care of my younger brother. I don't give up easily, though.

I can see you're not really listening. Don't worry, my friend. Drink up. There are plenty of other reasons to come with me. For example, you see those two Danish girls at the table over there? Very high cut shorts for such a cold day, no? Those two have already signed up for the tour. Take my word for it, there will be a moment when the carbide falls out of their headlamps and they are scared in the dark. They will need someone to comfort them, and if you are smart you will be there. They will lean against you, and press their breasts against your side. Yes, this is a very lucky day for you, my friend. Only one spot left on the tour and for you, I will say fifteen dollars.

But let me tell you a secret: those two girls, these are only for the moment. In the end, it is the stories you will be paying for. Only fifteen dollars, and when you get back home, you will have wisdom. My friend, women will come from all over America just to hear you talk. First, you can tell them about the miner's market. I will bring you to the stall of my friend Paola, she will give us a good price for the coca leaves, and the dynamite. Imagine yourself at dazzling the women with stories about chewing coca and setting off explosives. Tell them about the bitter taste of the leaves and that pounding feeling behind your eyes. Don't worry, I'll show you how. You mix the leaves with lye. Coca helps with altitude, and also hunger.

And then we go down into the shaft to see the miners. Yes, my friend, there are still men working the Cerro Rico, digging for some ore their great grandparents missed. And for talking to women at the pub, these men make for great little stories. You can describe the hollow sound they make when they cough, and their rough hands. When you tell this part, slow down to show how sensitive you are. The women will get shivers when you describe for them old Juancho and his boy Marco. The old man can't stand up straight any more, but the boy still whistles as he pushes his wheelbarrow. Juancho won't live through the end of the year, but Marco, he still has maybe ten or fifteen years until the miner's disease gets him.

Wait, listen. Don't leave. Just twelve dollars, including lunch, and I will give you one of my own stories also. Tell it right, and the women will put their heads down on your lap and look up at you in a dream. Like I said, when I was still a boy, my father was going to pull me out of school to take care of my younger brother, Miguel. That was the year my mother died. With my father gone all day, I needed to take care of my brother. First I tried bringing him to school, but he was always fighting the bigger boys in class, and the teacher said he made too much noise. So my father told me I was done with school. Only I didn't listen. Every morning I waited for my father leave, and then I snuck out and left Miguelito to play outside with his friends. My brother was happy because he could play football in the streets all day. He had the dream to play goalie for the national team, my brother. He was small but very quick. Nothing got past him.

Only one day, when I came back, Miguelito was on the doorstep holding his stomach. He ate some ashes that were mixed in with food in a trashcan, because he was hungry. That night, he started throwing up, and there was blood mixed in. The next morning he couldn't get out of bed. There was no doctor in Pulocayo, even if we had the money. In a couple of days, Miguelito was dead from an intestinal infection. So I kept going to school, and I studied hard.

Wait, my friend. Sit down. Okay, you're on vacation; you don't like to think about these things. Forget that story, don't use it if you don't want. Listen, did I tell you the price includes lunch? This day takes a lot from you, and so we will end with a taste of home. Something familiar, something comfortable.

You see the golden arches over on the other side of the plaza? They just put them up last month. Can you see in through the big windows? Today there is a birthday party. I think the little gorda at the top of the slide is the birthday girl. Mostly the mining company executives eat there with their families. Believe me, my friend, at the end of a morning in the mines you will be hungry. You will be grateful to sit down. The Danish girls will sit to either side of you, and you will feel the brush of their breasts again when they both lean against your shoulders. Their hair will tickle your neck, and they will have that clean smell of gringa sweat. Here, finally, you can rest.

Of course, I always say you can't put a price on an adventure that will change your life. And I have a companera to feed too, you understand, and three children. Okay, don't tell anyone I'm making you this offer, but for American friends traveling on a budget, I can give a very special price: ten dollars. Take it or leave it.

II. Taipei, Taiwan

No, don't bother standing. Please. I am not important. No, I am very new to the company. It is very strange, I think they chose me to show you around only because of my English. I recently came back from your country, in fact. I was in Philadelphia, studying for my MBA at Wharton. Thank you, sir. Ni guojiang le, we say in Mandarin: You are exaggerating. No, sir, there are much prettier girls than me in the company. Much prettier.

We are so very honored that corporate headquarters in Oak Park takes an interest in our humble operation. I do hope you will be impressed, sir. Everything happens strictly by the manual here. As Founder Kroc himself said, insistence on quality must be emphasized in every procedure. In Taiwan we take those words very seriously. I will be taking you on a brief tour of some franchises, sir. You will see the patties exactly four inches from the left of the grill. All baskets of fries will be blanched for exactly three minutes, then dipped into the oil a second time. And please check, the french fry oil will be kept separate from the McNugget oil at all times.

It is Chanel. Thank you, sir. I'm glad you approve. Certainly, we could arrange for a drink at the end of the tour, if you'd like. I'm flattered, sir. Yes, as you can see we received the memo from Oak Park about casual attire. To be honest, some of the older managers were not happy. But us younger execs all understand that a more relaxed, congenial atmosphere increases productivity. We have what you call a generation gap here. As Chairman Turner himself once said, we must be patient while the regimented management cultures of Asia learn to adapt to the innovative American style.

As a matter of fact I do, sir. I am engaged. Thank very much. No I believe I am the lucky one.

Always this has been my dream. You can say that ever since I ate my first burger, I knew I wanted to work for this company. When the first Taipei franchise opened up on Nanjing East Road, I was still a schoolgirl. I remember waiting in line for three hours. Then I got to the front, and everything was just so beautiful and clean. The boy at the Coke machine had a neat crease in his hat, and the countertops were shining. Somebody behind me in line elbowed my back, and I remembered to say the words "Big Mac"

To this day, thinking of that first taste of special sauce still makes me shiver. It's embarrassing to say, sir, but since that first bite this flavor always makes me think about Sylvester Stallone. Maybe because Rambo was in all the theaters then. I remember I was very impressed by that moment when he comes up from the swamp with his shirt off and a knife between his teeth. This was the picture I saw as I chewed and swallowed.

No, excuse me. My fault, my fault. After you, sir. Don't worry, bamboo scaffolding is much stronger than it looks. As you can see, Taipei is a city under construction. Actually, if you and I were standing in this exact spot twenty years ago, our feet would be wet from rice paddies. Really. This is the Tun Hua district, one of the liveliest parts of the city. Hen renao, we would say in Mandarin. Gucci, Prada, Starbucks, all the best foreign goods are in this neighborhood. Also, the newest franchise in the city is here. This will be the first stop on our tour.

I'm flattered, sir. No, please. I don't really know what to say. As I said, there are many more beautiful women in our company. Remember I am already engaged, sir. Maybe I can introduce you to someone else from the office? For example, there is Nimei, in accounting. Long smooth hair, and a nice figure. Should I make a call to arrange a dinner for you to meet her? Yes of course, sir. My career is very important to me. Of course. Why else would I study so hard for so long?

I always did have the hunger to succeed, sir. You might say that first taste of special sauce lingered in my mouth. We didn't have much money, but my father saved up enough to send me to extra English classes. When I was in middle school, he sent me to buxiban. Class got out late at night, and I would always stop in at the franchise over by the train station. I would sit at one of the booths in the back and eat McNuggets while I finished my homework. Then I tried to keep my eyes open on the late bus home. Sometimes a whole week passed when I never ate dinner with my family, all just to get into this position. So yes, sir, my career is very important to me. I just think maybe you will be happier if I call to arrange a dinner with Nimei. You won't be disappointed.

Finally, here we are. Watch your step. As you can see, the Tun Hua franchise is very crowded for the lunchtime rush. And it looks like there is a birthday party on premises today. Very appropriate. Because much of the credit for our high volume here in Taiwan is due to how closely we follow Chairman Turner's model for international expansion: target the youth market. Hook them when they're young, before their taste buds are biased against your product, and you have their loyalty for a lifetime. We take this idea very much to heart here, and you will note that every branch has a playland, a birthday club, and Pokemon stickers as prizes in the happy meals. These small details go a long way, sir, I—

Sir, as I said I am always one to encourage informal relationships in our managerial staff. But to be honest, that's a little bit forward. I don't really know what to say, but—

Excuse me sir, let me introduce you to Huang Guhan, the franchise manager. Another foreign MBA, like most upper management throughout the island. In fact, he was a classmate of my fiancée, at Stanford. Have I mentioned I will be getting married next month, sir? Thank you. Thank you very much. As you can see Mr. Huang is very busy at this moment, but he has assured me we can inspect any part of the premises.

Where should we begin? The walk-in, sir? You wouldn't rather start with the warmers, or the soda machines? Yes, very good, sir. I am so sorry. Of course, you know how to do your work. Harvard Business School? Very impressive. Again I apologize. The walk-in is back here to the right, past the dish washing area. Watch out for the crew. Mafan nimen, excuse us please, coming through.

Here we are, sir, I—yes the door does open from the inside, two-way handles decrease liability, just like the operating manual states. Are you sure you wouldn't rather keep the door open? It does get quite cold in here, sir, but - okay, then. So as you can see, we have french fries here, over there the fish filet, and these boxes I believe are the Chicken Mc— No, sir—

III. Askar Refugee Camp, West Bank

You must be hungry. Did you have dinner yet? My wife will make you something to eat. No, please. I insist. Yu are my guest. In Askar camp, this is how we treat guests. This is the way we do things in my home.

I cannot say enough how much it means that you are here. All day we watch the TV. What can we do but watch the TV? The jaesh, the soldiers they are out in the street, and nothing is open even if we can go outside. Here, do you see this window? This happened last week. In the night, the tanks came and they shot at our house, for no reason. What can we do? So we stay inside and we watch Al Jezeera. They say America wants to give them more F16 airplanes and Apache helicopters. I see these things and I think you don't care about us, but then you are here. You are here, and so the house is safe tonight. The soldiers will not come. I hope you will stay here for a long time.

This is my oldest son, Muhammed. He has a wife and a son in Amman, but he cannot see her for many years. This is my second son, Hani, and his daughter Nabeel. And this is my third son, Jamaal. None of my sons can work now. No one works now.

And this photo here, this was my youngest boy, Said. I—I am sorry. This is hard to say. He is the one who is died. I think maybe they told you about him? The one who blew himself up. The marteer, what is the word in English? Suicide bomber. But maybe this is a story for another time.

There is so much I need to tell you. And I want to show you my house and all of Askar camp. Jamaal volunteers for the youth camp, and he has a favor he will need to ask. But maybe you tired now? I think this was a very long day. You crossed all the way from Jerusalem today, yes? How about the soldiers at the checkpoints? We need someone like you who can cross the checkpoints. But we will talk about that later.

Good, here is the food. I am so embarrassed. I want you to come visit again one day, when the jaesh are gone. Then I will give to you a feast. This, this is nothing. But now eat. You must be hungry. This is called fuul. And this one hummous. Do you know it? Here, some bread. And here, how do you say this in English? Fig? Abu Saufa, who lives near here, grows them in his garden. I think you will like it. But I am sorry we have no meat.

Here, this is something I want to show you. Can you read Arabic? You look Arab, no? You are Jewish? Really? You look different from the jaesh. Are you sure you're not an Arab? Okay okay, no problem. You are Jewish, okay. You are here to help us, that is enough.

So you cannot read this paper, but it is important. It is—I think in English you say deed. This is my father's farm, in Haja. A village near Nablus. You know it? Very high in the mountains. A famous mosque in the center, one thousand years old. And it was a good farm. We had olive trees, and tomatoes. Then in 1967, the jaesh. In the other villages they went inside and shot the people. So we had to leave Haja. But still I have this paper. When you go back home, I want you to tell them I have this paper.

Good, here is the coffee. Please, drink a cup. Coffee is something else we still have. Sometimes the tanks knock down olive trees, and sometimes the jaesh shoot for no reason, and sometimes you can't find your neighbor's boy. But always, later, you can sit and drink coffee. And now you are my family, so you must drink.

When we left the farm we came here, to Askar camp. This is where Said was born. He always was very quiet. When he was a boy, he fell down on his bicycle and broke his leg. After, he never walked right. But in his mind he was strong. In school I told him to study for be an engineer. But then it was the intifada, and everything was closed. Every day we sat inside, and there was nothing we can do. This is curfew. For my sons it was difficult, especially for Said. The universities were not open, and he could not hope for anything. For young boys to be inside all day, I think it is bad.

Are you tired? You must be very tired. I am sorry there is no bed in the house. We took the furniture to a neighbor's home because the jaesh say they will come soon. Because my Said was a marteer, they will knock down the house. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe next week. But now we are safe. They will never come when there is an American sleeping here. We have blankets and the best room for you to sleep. Don't be polite, please rest. No? Then at least you can drink some more coffee.

So. Said was strong in his mind, but in the intifada he began to change. We are good Muslims in this house. For Eid we always save the best parts of lamb for the poor. But Said started to go to a new mosque, and when he came back and he said the house was not clean.

But it was after they killed Abdallah that Said was not Said. Abdallah was the neighbor's boy. He was Said's friend, and the two of them always were together. One morning we heard. The jaesh shot Abdallah on the hill over there. The boy had a gun, they said. So they took his body and put it next to the tank. They did not let the people come to take his body back. In Islam this is important, the body. You are a Jew, but maybe you still understand these things? So, Many days passed and Abdallah's body started to smell. Then the dogs came. The people threw rocks to keep them away, but there were too many.

For many days after, Said did not speak. Then one morning he woke up and said he wanted to go to Belata for a haircut. We were happy because he was talking. But these were the last words he ever said to us. At dinner that night he was not home, so we started to look for him. We looked all night and then all the next day. But we could not find him. Then at night we were watching the news. There was an important election in America that day, and we were watching to learn what happened. And then there was a picture of Said. The announcer said he was a hero, and the bomb killed three people on the bus. I am sorry. Still I cannot talk about this. My boy— This is not what we teach him. In the Quran the body is important, you do not hurt your body. But now the jaesh want to knock down my house. They say we told him to do the bombing. How could I? My farm is gone, my boy is gone, and now I will lose my home. We every day are afraid. Every night I stay awake, and when the tanks pass in the street I think maybe this time they will be stopping here. But with an American here, they will not come. We hope that you will be one of the family. And so, now you must sleep.

But first I have one favor to ask. My son Jamaal, he helps with the youth camp. The children at the camp, they want something. Maybe you can help them to get this.

All day long we only stay inside and watch the TV. And the children, they always see one commercial and then want that thing. So now there is something from your country, it is a box called the Happy Meal, with special food inside. Do you know it? The children in the camp, they see the commercial on TV and they want this. So Jamaal has an idea.

We need an American. We need someone to cross the green line, because we do not have this restaurant here. We need someone who can get across the checkpoints and bring this Happy Meal back for the children. Can you help us? It is a small thing, but for the children I think it is very important. Like my Said, they are inside too much from the curfew, and they are changing. Right now they think only F16 airplanes and Apache helicopters come from your country. But they are wrong. There are many good things from America, I know. Many good things. I only need your help to prove it.

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